Never Look Back
The day of my mom funeral, after the morning Buddhist ceremony at home, we all went out the front door with her photo, that had been sitting at a mantle since the day of her death, and we were told not to look back. I never understood why we couldn’t look back but did as I was told, for I didn’t want to jinx the ceremony. I later learned that we weren’t allowed to look back because we had to take her to her final destination. We had one person to stay home, and as soon as her body was cremated, then everything at home had to be cleaned out, which meant the vases of flowers, candles, incenses, anything related to the morning ceremony, and had to be done before we would get home and there was another Buddhist ceremony that evening, in placed of her photo, sat a Buddha statue.
I’m not one to take high risk, but not once did I let opportunity pass me by, I don’t regret the decisions that I made, but knew that things could’ve been better. Since my mom funeral, I’ve seen things in a new light, seen disaster as an open door to a new opportunity, not afraid to try something new, for we only live once (that I’d remember anyway), everything in life is all about choices, even if the only choice that we have is worse, or worst.
So how do you make better choices? You might ask, I’ve learned from a friend that it should be based on our belief, and to add on to this, I’d say trust yourself, trust your instinct. We all have 24/7 and there should be no excuses as to not have enough time, and if you sit and doubt yourself, there goes half of your lifetime. The greatest gift that we all have is the gift of will power, we all have the will to make our own decision, who’d love us more than ourselves, and at the end, we have to live with our own decision.
What ever you decide in life will have consequences, either negative or positive, and will ultimately lead you to a certain destination. Keep in mind that decisions are the open door to opportunity and ultimately reality, therefore your destiny lies in your hands. Here I’m sharing my thoughts, which I often refer to it as the thoughts that make you itch, and literally it might just do that, some might think it sounds ridiculous, I think not and this is my decision to share. If you are going to do something, don’t let self-doubt hold you back, have faith in yourself and trust your instinct, once you’ve made that decision, don’t look back.
It looks like you've had an enlightment. Before I use to regret. Now life is an adventure. Each mistake is a gift from the universe for us to ponder then improve on our mistakes.
Most often the mistake aren't mistakes but instead the process of learning and growing. Life is all good and the world is all good. It's just that the few people out there can screws things up for us and that is no problem, because a problem is another word for opportunity.
Hi Sim, not enlighten at all, more like feeling of sorrow…we tend to see things better when we feel low, I'm no exception.
We held a Budhist ceremony for the loss of my father as well. No one mention not looking back, but we did do the washing of our hands and feet before coming back inside the house. What we did at the funeral was cut a long white cotton thread (blessed by the Buddhas). Cutting the thread represented forgiveness and also meant we were not holding a grudge against those that have passed on. I think it was a nice symbolic gesture.
Well, maybe not looking back is what some people need to not make them linger too much about the past. I'm sure those that are in another place would want is to live our life to the fullest.
Hi Salat, cutting the white thread is called Tut Yahd Kard Mid, you cut the tie that connected you from your father, which symbolically meant that he was to go on his journey and for him not to worry about you, your brother and mom, (also asking for forgiveness like you’ve said) because many times, worry is what’s holding the person back, I guess for him not to look back. I think everything in life, many times, looking back only creates self doubt and we’ll never get to our journey, or at least delays it.
I think Tut Yahd Kard Mid is just a ceremony, but deep down in our heart, they’ll always be our mom or dad, no amount of white thread cutting will take that away.