Learning from our elders
It’s amazing for me to find wealth of information when I talk to my Grand-Mama. I have been calling her at least once a week. It is not cheap for me to call Laos on a regular basis but I want to take this opportunity to get to know my Grand-Mama and about my Lao roots. I woke up early yesterday morning because I had a dream about my Grand-Mama. Even though I just talked to her on Wednesday afternoon, I decided to give her a call and check to see if she is doing well.
Grand-Mama was home alone. She told me my aunt and my cousins went next door to hang out at another aunt’s house. They were making Tum Banana. She said it is quite normal for them to go there everyday, to sit under the house on the benches and do their nails or just talk about things and making something to eat, like tum maak houng or phun miang. I forgot how life is like in Laos with people gathering around on weekend to just hang out and have fun.
It was the first time for me to talk to my Grand-Mama for more than 30 minutes (1 hour 21 minutes to be precise). Normally we speak for about 30 minutes and then I don’t have much to say to her. I often did most of the talking and trying to get her to talk to me. Yesterday I just asked her some questions and let her do all the talking. We were talking about Lao boun mostly and how they do things at the local temple. Grand-Mama told me in two days they will make Khao Thom for Boun Haw Khao Padap Din and how she will tell my cousin Mo to go to the temple at 4:00 to take pictures of the ceremony for me. I told her how I can recall putting food by the trees around our house and calling relatives to come eat the food when I was little.
I later asked my Grand-Mama about the future events on Lao calendar. She told me the next boun will be Boun Ork Phansa and how the family will make a gong boun to take to the temple as offering. There would be Loy Kra Thong and the next following morning would be a Thak Bahth and all the villagers would be taking part in the ceremony. After Boun Ork Phansa, there is a Pra Khao Thip event where offering would be make with only sweet food. Later in the winter months would be Hae Kra Thin. Grand-Mama said there is always a boun to keep them busy all year Lao. She said that is how pha pay nee Lao is and how things have always been.
My Grand-Mama is a very devout Buddhist. I asked her what time does she wake up in the morning and what she does. She told me that she gets up at 4:00 AM to wai pra or pray. Then she would do her kheal mark and then later the morning alms giving when the weather is nice. She is just starting to walk and can’t sit too long at the temple the old fashion way. When she couldn’t walk yet, my cousins would put a chair on the street and have her sit there so she could do her morning alms giving. The monks don’t mind because Grand-Mama is the oldest living person in the village and they knew about her injury. Her family was the first family to relocate to the present village with a group of the monks to start the temple so she has somewhat of a reputation. When there is a boun at her house, the entire village would come by to help, even without being invited or asked.
I can’t wait to learn more about what my Grand-Mama would teach me. I am happy to have known about her and to be able to hear old stories that no one would take the time to tell me. In this fast pace world I am living in, it is nice now and then to just sit down and listen to an old lady who has so much to say about life in general.
Better hurry up and send me your Meal submission as time is running out. 
It’s nice to know the upcoming events in Laos, I’m sure your Grand-Mama feels the same way that it’s nice to have grand children to take interest in her. The older folks in Laos and Thailand are the ones that the world has somehow forgotten, and might be because most young people are too busy to take the time to visit or take the initiative to call. In most cases, it’s too late before people realize that they should spend more time, only if they could, but time waits for no man.
Hi Ginger,
I like to hear my Grand-Mama giggles. She didn't smile much when I was visiting her since she can't walk and all. Now she is more cheerful and I can tell by the tone of her voice.
I like hearing old stories from her like the time they had to dig a hole in the ground to avoid bombs raining from the sky on them.
I told my aunts that I think my siblings and other ten cousins in the US don't know what they are missing. All they know is their parents and that's enough for them. They don't even know who they really are or where they came from. They don't care to talk to my Grand-Mama and pretend they don't speak Lao!
They think they are so smart because they don't have to say hi to my Grand-Mama, to put up with her. If it was not for her existence, none of them would be here today.
I have a funny feeling their children will treat their parents the same way, then later their grandchildren won't want to have anything to do with them either. Then they will feel how my Grand-Mama is feeling at the moment.
I'm still waiting for those pictures. Hope I get them in a few days.
Now, you made me want to call my Grand-Mama. I better do it now before she goes to bed, lol. She goes to bed like at 8:30 PM so she can get up at 4:00 AM.
"They think they are so smart because they don't have to say hi to my Grand-Mama, to put up with her. If it was not for her existence, none of them would be here today." my parents are from lao we moved to thailand and then to US…but i just wanted to say that what u said above is TRUE. most lao peoples doesnt care…same for me, i NEVER call anyone or talk to anyone about my past or family..which is really dumb…and now i just realized it but its kind of too late…..because i lost all of my supporters. by the way u look good from behind kissing your grandmama in that picture. lolz
"They think they are so smart because they don't have to say hi to my Grand-Mama, to put up with her. If it was not for her existence, none of them would be here today." hi there…im new here and i jsut registered…=)i was just reading your personal life and its GREAT!and what u said above is right. lao peoples are not so smart for that…but i should be speaking for myself haha…i NEVER talk to anyone or call home to say even one word like "hi". Now thats ignorant…but now i just realized how dumb i was and loneliness has raised my feets on me but its too late all of my supports are gone. although i havent lost hope to call-out. by the way, u look good from behind kissing your grandmama in that picture miss.? mrs? ms.? lolz
"They think they are so smart because they don't have to say hi to my Grand-Mama, to put up with her. If it was not for her existence, none of them would be here today." your life with mama is GREAT. i just wanted to say what said above is true…lao peoples dont care but i should be asking myself that. i never call anyone or talk to anyone but now i realized it but its too late. all my supporters are gone. loneliness has raised my feets on me struggling and stumbling through my path….i would love to support u with what it is going on recently but not now as i am tryingto help myself…lolz……..keep it up. u can ask for my strength if needed. by the way, u look good from behind kissing your grandmama in that picture. u a miss? mrs? or ms? lol
Sabaidee Skyshadow82,
Thank you for your comments. My Grand-Mama is all that I have left. I have never met my Grandfather since he passed away when my mother was a teenager. I knew only my Grandmother and my Great-Granparents.
My parents were divorced so I didn't know anything about my Papa's family. Now that I have found my Grand-Mama I don't want to waste precious time ignoring her. I can't believe that my siblings and my cousins ignored her all these years when they knew about her.
I'm going back to visit her again next year. My Papa has never seen his mother since he left Laos. That is is loss.
So, I look good from behind eh? Hehehe. It's Miss by the way.
wow is it faith or some sort of fairy-tales? haha….youre a miss? no way, i dont believe u. how could a girl like u with a heavenly mind and heart for their peoples and cultures, yet still single…hard to find!My grandpa also passed away since i was a young boy. My grandma, i think the same age as your grandma by the looks of the picture.oh to lao next year again ha? what for this time?i was at houay xay 11-11-06 waiting for my parents but didnt go anywhere else and than went straight back to Chiang Rai. do u know Iu-Mien peoples? From North-Lao and North Thailand but most are from Phongsali and meuangsing. by the way, what are u trying to look for trying to trace your past or family. I've been trying to trace my past but dont know where to start…คนเดียวไม่เคยรู้
It's simple, "They only want you when you are 17, when you're 21, you no fun" and by the time you're 22, you're pou thao. I'm just kidding.
I think it would be nice if we get to know all our grandparents, but you can't always have what you want in life so we can only make the best of it and appreciate what we have.
I am going to Laos again because I was born and raised there for many years. My mother's relatives are still there. I want to go see my old house since I didn't get to do that the last time I was there and also to visit relatives and friends and do some charity work if I could. I can see myself going to Laos on a regular basis if I can afford it.
The best place to trace your past is finding out as much as you can from people around you. You can then try to put pieces of the puzzle together. Just don't give up but accept that you might not find what you are looking for or what you found might not be what you have anticipated.
i been found the pieces of the puzzle and its clear of who i am but its just something mroe too it that i think i would never know and i cant seem to figure it out….maybe i havent learn much yet…i know u have a feeling in your life that theres something missing but u cant see it until youre actually there to see for yourself?! u have had found a few of those already, which u wrote about it throughout your paragraphs. it's interesting and it amazed me as i read on. At first i thought u were talking about me…lolz….and i also know that theres much much more u havent found out yet besides your old house.I been thinking and i thought that if Lao peoples, in the past, specially our ancestors would have documented everything, and i mean EVERYTHING from the past it would not be so hard for us in this generations. Yes, theres alot informations in the library but i checked every books on the shelves and the internet but NOTHING is useful. Most of it could have been re-wrote it by someone which doesn'tmakes sense to me when i read it after thought about it. well, the point is?Im trying to find out who were the first Lao(s) there?why he/she didnt documented? i think someone has hidden it or destroyed it for further acknowledge. I wouldn't think the peoples itself would have done those kind of disaster, but who? why? believe me. monkeys were not the first human beings, theres much more to it.i think if anyone would or could have found these kinds of history of the past it can be apiece of gold thats even better than diamonds.
Hi there,
Just don't drive yourself crazy trying to find out what you can't find. I think the problem with not having written record could be due to our oral traditions.
Also things such as fire, natural disasters or war times can destroy evidences of the past. If not then they must be somewhere in the ground.
We can also learn about ourselves from what our neighbors were saying about us, if they kept good record or not. But this is not the best source of information if there is bias in the history.
Perhaps our ancestors didn't think it was important to keep record of everything or know the best way to keep a record, not like the Greeks or Romans.
Who knows with modern technology we might be able to track our roots. Maybe someday someone will compare all the DNA and see a link with all the human races, and where was the original Garden of Eden and how her children went their separate ways.
I want to see my old house so I won't keep on dreaming about it. All the familiar places I have been to the last time I was in Laos have not come back to haunt me. I want to come to terms with myself and find peace.
Skyshadow82, it doesn’t matter if you’re from Chimpanzees, or the original Garden of Eden, the answer is inside of you, what do you feel like? If you think you’re Laotian, then Laos should be your destination, even if you don’t have any living relative such as myself, but it’d feel familiar and feel like home to you. If you try to trace back too far, you’ll be wasting your time looking for something that is not there, all you’ll find is emptiness. That might be what you’re feeling right now.
Ginger..its not really that either. Its just that there something about it that makes me really curious to catch. It's not really like im trying to trace my past relatives. I just want t know what really went wrong or what happened to us during that time. My time is not so important right now. So it doesn't matters if it's wasted or not, and im willing to waste it to succeed. In fact, time can't be waste there's always future generations that will or might have the same thoughts as, I. Thak You for your replies.
Skyshadow82, you’re talking in riddle; I’ve a hard time understanding you. What you’re saying is that you can’t accept the fact that we had lost our country to communism, that we fled the war, you went to live in Thailand, and I did the same thing for 5 years, I lived as a Thai citizen, I’m sure you did also. We’re still alive, sound mind, and well today, I had schooling in Thailand and now can read Thai, obviously you can also, that’s a bonus to me and should be to you too, that we’d the opportunity to learn another language. Your time is important, time is precious, and should not be wasted. One thing that we can’t do is to turn back time. If we help to build back our Lao culture and tradition, the future generation should have plenty of resources to rely on, first you’ve to start with you.