Lao Voices

I made a comment to the post “66 Percent Discount” and realized that my short comment has turned into a long post. I decided to make it a post instead. In his reply, Paul states, “It just saddens me to see another Laotian try to knock down their fellow Laotians, especially when they’re trying so hard to give to the community. Stop being a crab in a bucket and perpetuating the stereotype that all we do is sit back and criticize people. ”

I don’t agree with the statement that “all Lao people do is sit back and criticize people.” The problem with many in the Lao community is not about too much criticism or any “constructive criticism” but the lack of it. I am convinced there is an “unspoken outlaw of constructive criticism.” Just look around at the Lao entertainment industry for example. When an artist is making a record he/she can’t even get an honest opinion from anyone. Not too many people would dare to say anything that might help to improve the artist’s work. The majority of your so called “friends” tend to say the work is “dee, dee, dee” or “good, good, good,” while the truth of the matter might be that the work needs much improvement to be put on the market at an acceptable level.

The root of the problem lies within our community. As a community we don’t know how to give or accept constructive criticism. In the Lao entertainment industry, if someone gives constructive criticism, then that person is considered a “non-supporter” of that artist or worse yet a “hater”. We say that person doesn’t “sa nup sa noon” or support the particular artist and how that person should “hai narm jai” because we are all Lao. So, in the end this artist might deliver a substandard quality CD that won’t sell much. The artist will wonder why it won’t sell because he/she tested it and everyone told him/her it was “dee dee”‘.

I know this all too well in my community where criticism is frowned up on. I was brought up to “vow dee dee, thie bor dai” or to only speak of good things and not to criticize anyone. There is no distinction between constructive criticism or unwarranted criticism. If you are unhappy with a product or services from another Lao person, you are not allowed or shouldn’t make a complaint and have to accept things as they are. You have to maintain the social norm of “narm khoun you nai, narm sai you nork” or in the other words, to keep the muddy water inside and only show clear water on the outside.

With that kind of social practice rules in place, the understanding that all things are running smooth is very unreliable because there is no constructive critiscism possible. Yes, we are so good at keeping the muddy water inside when face to face with one another but when the door is shut, we are more than eager to show the muddy water or spray it around. It seems to be the only way we know how to communicate with one another.

The sad fact is that the majority of us don’t have the guts to say what it is needed to be said: constructive criticism. Many of us are too busy “keeping face” in public and only “praising each other to the grave” because we are so oten backstabbing each other in private.

Yes, it is painful to hear criticism. It was painful to me as a student in high school and college to have “peer review” or “peer grading” because it was something that I was not used to. It was difficult for me at first to handle constructive criticism. Once I realized that it was not a personal attack but rather “positive feedback” on my work, I was able to take the useful evaluations and improved my tasks.

We need to learn how to provide and accept constructive criticism. I’ve seen too many people at an event or a gathering that were pouring kind words and how all things are “dee, dee, dee” but later whined and criticized everything in detail. If not then there would be some elderly ladies that are too eager to take charge and criticize or Thie (not constructive criticism here) of how things are done, with no consideration or respect for the host. There is no middle ground or diplomacy at all.

Where is that honesty that we so desperately need to help one another improve our community? Trying to do something positive for the community is a good start. However, that is just the first step. Attaining and maintaining the standard of excellence is another step. Just because we are Lao and doing something for the Lao community that doesn’t mean we should automatically received an A+ grade. We have to earn it and perform just like anyone.